F' It!

No, this isn't one of my typical blog post, but it's something I feel like I need to get off my chest.  I've been thinking a lot today (scary I know), but I really need to learn how to just say "f' it" and start enjoying life.  I've earned three buckles and numerous ribbons with Cat over the last year and wasn't proud about any of them.  I told myself "I only won because so and so wasn't here" or "I really didn't deserve that".

Growing up no matter how well my sisters and I did in school, sports, etc., my dad always reminded us we could do better.  He didn't do it to be mean, he just wanted us to succeed.  As an adult, I've found that anytime I accomplish something, I tell myself how I could have done better.  Wanna know what?  I've decided that is a bunch of bullshit!  Once can always do better, but what's the point if you are never happy with where you are or what you have accomplished?

I'm continually doubting whether Cat and I are ready for competition and that really isn't fair to her.  She has proven to me time and time again she's ready - we're ready.  Do we have things to work on?  Of course we do!  We are always going to have room for improvement.

It's funny how when you are thinking about certain things what you need to hear pops up right in front of you.  This was in my news feed first thing this morning when I logged into FB and it couldn't be more fitting for how I was feeling.

Now - let's get to issue number two.  I have always had a problem with my weight.  It's something I struggle with on an almost daily basis and I feel like it has kept me from doing so much.  I can't even begin to explain to friends how difficult it is for me to get out in public.  I mean seriously, I hate riding in the arena because it's next to the road and people driving by can see me.  So you can probably see why going to these competitions is a HUGE deal for me.  Thankfully, I have some very amazing and supportive friends who have pushed me to continue to go outside of my comfort zone.  I've decided *I* have a bigger issue with my weight than anyone else and that is something I need to deal with.  If anyone else has an issue with it - well, that's their problem, not mine.

So what does that mean for this blog?  It means I'm not going to hide my imperfections anymore.  I'll be happily posting pictures and videos and not giving a rats ass what anyone thinks.

Cat and I are due for our next competition next month.  I've got a lot of work to do between now and then but I couldn't be more excited about it.  I see big things in our future this year even if I never win another ribbon.

And Lucy - let's not forget Miss Lu Lu.  Her vacation is coming to a swift end.