I need help!

Yes, I know, some of you have known that for a long time. Seriously thought I need some advice on how to “ignore” things and how to bite my tongue.

Last night “we” went roping again. MIL, DH and Chase went and took Abby, Max and Sis. When we first got there I did some LFR with Abby before putting Chase on her. Then when she was moving well I put him on and had him do some flexing. When he flexes he puts his foot into her side and it confuses her. He was also going back to his “bad” hand position and pulling past his hip.

Once he got it I told him to trot her off and do some ORS. That went pretty well (minus the foot creeping up here and there). After he had that down I had him do some ORS at the lope. When he whacks Abby he has two whacks. The one is soft and annoys her and the other is hard and really pisses her off. I need to find a way to show him an in-between whack. On the positive side she didn’t toss her head with him at all when she loped even though he didn’t go very far.

Now for the negative – I didn’t let Chase go out to round up the cows with the boys and Abby is starting to have separation issues. Right now it’s not “horrible” but I see big issues in the future if it’s not resolved here shortly. These are the things I see.

MIL was having fun on Sis and besides dragging the rein over Sis’s neck (neck reining in a snaffle and pulling too far) they looked really good and I think she was having fun.

DH did take things slower with Max last night and for the most part didn’t do too bad. He still refuses to listen to me about how to properly warm Max up though and he’s going to hurt him. It’s just a matter of time.

MIL had me get on Sis and ride her and Chase decided he was done riding Abby (I think he was a bit frustrated with her). Sis did very well tracking the cows (which just sets DH off even more). When the arena was clear we did a lot of counter bending serpentines at the trot. At the end of the night we did some rollbacks on the fence. She did one quick enough to almost lose me. My fault I know – I need to work on my balance more.

When it came time to load up is when my frustration kicked in. DH asked Max to load and as Max went in DH unknowingly put pressure on the lead. Max stopped ½ way in the trailer so DH backed him out and “put him to work” (not really but that’s what we’ll call it). He whacked Max on the butt (trying to do LFR) but since his hand wasn’t up and he was focusing on the hip Max yielded his HQ (like he was being asked) which frustrated DH even more.

He asked him to load again and again put pressure on the lead so he repeated the above. By this time I lost it and yelled at DH (he either ignored me or didn’t hear me). He asked Max to go in again and this time gave him more slack and Max went in. Of course DH thinks he “showed him” but in all reality he’s the one who caused the problem.

On the way home (we drove two separate vehicles) I asked Chase if he wanted me to help him or if he wanted to figure it out on his own. I told him if he didn’t want my help I’d leave him alone. He said he wanted my help.

As for Max, I do feel sorry for him but DH does need to learn by making his own mistakes. My problem with that is that he is around my horses and I don’t want him using “his” methods on my horses.

I’m going to try really, really, really, hard to ignore what goes on with Max. Oct. 7th we are pulling his ad. After that if he chooses to try to re-list him in the spring it will be his choice and if he ask for my help some ground rules will be established very quickly.

I’m going to try to back off of Chase a bit. I know I’ve expected a lot out of him. Mainly because I don’t want to see him hurt but I don’t want him to get frustrated enough to quit riding either. He’s not a bad rider but he’s having a harder time with Abby since she tests him more.